Feelings... Nothing more than Feelingsss. -the demented
Whoopeedoo.
I am back in KL. Really, i can't complain. I woke up at 10 this morning. It has been a while.. Feels good not waking up the blaring sound of my sony erricson w800i (brand new toy)alarm clock. And of all tones, it's "Someone to love"by Queen. Who the hell read my blogs? I've been thinking. Myself? I amuse my self reading my past entries. It kinda keeps track of where I am and my fragile/volatile emotional states. I am a swinger. 1 minute i can be on cloud 9 and the other, i can be in the dumps. Right now, i am calm, I love these calm feelings obtainable when i wake up late, preferably not to the sound of an alarm clock, or a fire drill.
disclaimer:
Dear Uncle A.W.,
If you're reading my blog, it's for you only. under NO circumstances will you discuss about it during family dinners/gatherings/bitching sessions. If anything were to go around, the blog will self destruct and the writer will deny all responsibility of it.
regards,
owner
Emotional states.... emotional states.. what do you do when something that is wrong feels so good? Do you go with it? or do you back out? NO, I did not have my first homo encounter.(sheesssh) It's something more complicated. Older women. I attract older women, and I am somehow attracted to them. What's the "acceptable" age difference which is tolerated by our sorry ass asian culture? 10 abit too much?
9 more days till christmas. I have absolutely no freaking idea of my whereabouts. Christmas with the family good. But christmas with my older woman will be better. Geographical, ethical, and religious(NO SHE IS NOT MUSLIM) boundaries stands in my way. Perhaps that's for the better. I have mastered the art of switching off feelings. No matter how deep. I have a kill switch. It goes "OFF" at a flick of a switch. Thanks to someone else in my life not too long ago. She's right. I am taking it out on everyone else. Deny deny deny deny. Do not accept. taste, but do not savour. touch. but do not feel.
damn. I feel angry now. So much for the calm feeling a minute ago.
posted by queue at 2:48 PM
7 Comments:
Hi hun... Who the hell reads your blog you ask? Well someone who got bored of playing Chuzzle on yahoo games all day ;) (hey, chuzzle damn addictive k. you should try it once in a while. haha!)
Damn. You didn't have any homo encounters huh? Now that would've made a very interesting read.
Well you like elder women, i like younger men (hmm.. i forgot wat connection i was trying to say there. very short attention span...). If i were you, i'd just go for it. Life is short and you only get to live it once. So just go for it. Who knows? It could be the best thing that has ever happened to you. And screw wat others say.
Take care babes!
Hey Perks.
Thanks for the tip. But I am quite realistic, and I am sick of being in DOOMED relationships. regardless how good it is when it lasts. I need time off. Hopefully boss will send me offshore Sudan/Bermuda triangle for a month to make me sane again. But again. I'll come back fat. Food offshore is yummy. Hmnn. why did i start on food??!!
Yes, again. thanks for the advise. Lovely. U're such a rebel. I like rebels. Am I younger than you? If I am maybe you should consider dating me. I can cook, and you can clean. Do we have a deal?
:p relationship just doesnt exist in real world. Be realistic. Enjoy. Live for the moment. And enjoy each and every second in life. That is what I am doing now. And honestly I find life much better this way. just 2 cent :P
who reads ur blog... well when I have not much to do after playing games at neopets.. I am here hehe
"Somebody to love"? That certainly reflects ur desperation for a partner. Body clock ticking by fast? Ha ha ha! From ur disclaimer, I can conclude that members of your family eat a lot, are pretty close-knit (gatherings) and comprise a lot of bitches...all that bitching and gossiping. Maybe u should get some crystal stones to stabilise ur moods...how about a charm bracelet? Matches ur tendencies? Ha ha ha ha ha!
Your secret is safe with me. I'll only tell it to people I know on condition that they won't tell anybody! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Food offshore is yummy? Hey, y dont u courier some to me next time k? Ponek bah! Hehehe... I'm such a Food Whore (a new nick given to me by a friend whom I call a Culture Whore... will explain how the nicknames came up some other time...)
I'd shake on that deal but alas! I'm younger than u! It just won't do. I feel the urge to corrupt the young *evil grin* muahaha! Hey, u're not gonna report me to the Anti-Paedophile Agency, r u? Coz i'm like on their 10 Most Wanted list. *Aduh lame lame...*
foods yummy. :D
I am just hungry hehe
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